Tis not the season to be jolly. We've got Manny Pacquiao fighting this weekend, there is nonstop banter about the really big show - anyone else remember Ed Sullivan? - between Oscar and Little Floyd, the last couple of years have produced some spectacular matchups and yet, and yet?. Are we choking on alphabet soup or are the heavyweights impossible to swallow? Combine them and you get Ray Austin in a title fight and possibly worse. The IBFelons, perpetrators of the Wladimir Klitschko-Austin farce, are plotting another chapter of the decline and fall of boxing's so-called glamour division.

Wlad has a scheduled defense against Lamon Brewster, who will be making his first start since damaging an eye in losing to Sergei Liahkovich a year ago. At least Brewster warrants a shot - after all, he withstood the good doctor's heavy hands early and then took his WBOgus belt.

The IBF does not have a No. 1 challenger. Or a No. 2 (Lou Duva's famous line when the Felons first started that practice, "I want to go to the auction"). In its infinite ways of securing sanctioning fees, the Felons plan to hold an "eliminator," which is one of the ways the alphas have of eliminating part of a fighter's purse. So No. 3 would fight No. 4, or the closest "available contender." No. 3, in this case, is Brewster, who already has a title shot. No. 4, I am told - I won't look it up, I refuse to look at alphabet ratings, or Ring's, or anyone's other than maybe Dandy Dan Rafael's, and that's usually to make sure I'm spelling a guy's name right - is Calvin Brock, who is one meaningless victory past getting knocked out by Wlad (have to use first name, of course, since there are again two Klitschkos on the scene, which almost doubles the numbers of quality heavyweights). No. 4 is Chris Byrd, who has not fought since being clobbered by Wlad, so he is not eligible yet, although presumably he will be next week when he comes back in the Bahamas against the requisite stiff. The Felons could wait until Byrd becomes eligible to fight Brock - not a bad matchup, by the way - which would mean two guys having already proved to be well below Klitschko quality fighting for the "right" to be knocked out again.

Guys like Samuel Peter and Hasim Rahman have other fights scheduled so if the Felons rule now, the next available non-contender would be, get this, DaVarryl Williamson, who last seen in a title fight, against Byrd, could have been wearing Burt Lahr's lion costume (yes, he did once knock down Wladimir, but that was the "old" Wlad who was coming off his loss to Brewster). This mix-and-mismatching will continue to occur until the division's "champions" cast aside their chains and start fighting each other?.Tomorrow, and we get to watch it from Stuttgart thanks to MSG Network and the indefatigable salesmanship of Don King, there is another heavyweight "title" bout featuring the 7-footer Nikolai Valuev and his mandatory (WBAbboons, I believe) challenger, the undefeated but ordinary Ruslan Chagaev. It has been fashionable to make fun of the Russian giant, but from what I've seen, though he is incredibly slow and robotic, his major league chin may be the most "freakish" thing about him?.John Hornewer, the peripatetic lawyer, called to remind me that while Valuev is now with Willie Sauerland (and King) and Chagaev with German promotional rival Klaus-Peter Kohl, at one point they were both with Kostya Tszyu's old buddy, Vlad Wharton. Said Horney, "It's kind of like the Eastern-bloc version of Bob Arum looking on from the outside at two guys he used to promote, Oscar and Floyd, in a big fight."

But we shouldn't be talking heavyweights when Manny Pacquiao is in the on-deck circle. And let me be the second - Arum is the first - to heartily recommend that you buy this pay-per-view show from San Antonio (invite all your friends, of course, and have a party). The PacMan is either No. 1 or No. 2 in the pound-for-pound ratings and No. 1 in any Geiger counter measure of excitement, and here's another recommendation - if you like a different kind of action, bet the other guy. Jorge Solis is a 5-foot-10 Mexican who is a southpaw, undefeated and has terrific breeding. His brother, Ulises, is a flyweight world champion, and his trainer is the venerable Professor Jesus Rivero, who helped smooth out the young Oscar de la Hoya and who also produced perhaps the purest boxer in Mexican history, Miguel Canto?.Plus, Pacquiao has been having all sorts of out-of-ring problems, from the pressure of running for political office in the Philippines, very much against  the wishes of an adoring public that would prefer to see him concentrate on boxing. Also, people seem to come up to him with brief cases full of money and he thus has wound up as the object in a legal tug-of-war between Arum and de la Hoya. And, he has not worked with Freddie Roach, who converted him from terrific puncher with amazing speed into an all-round, two-handed fighter, because the trainer opted to work with the Golden Boy in Puerto Rico. It wouldn't be past the greedy de la Hoya to try and keep Roach from at least working the corner in the Alamodome on an Arum card.

Moreover, Solis sounds confident in his abilities to keep the PacMan at long arum's length. Of course, it is not beyond Pacquiao's abilities that he rushes right out and knocks out his challenger. But at odds of more than 8-1, the underdog is the bet here.

And, there are other reasons to buy the show, No. 1 of which is the semifinal. Jorge Arce, the Lollipop Kid who last seen went into the ring riding a horse, is becoming one of the most exciting fighters around. But he is hardly a big favorite while challenging Cristan Mijares for the WBClowns' 115-pound title. In fact, one blog I read somewhere said this was one of the most anticipated all-Mexican matchups this year, a year in which we've already had Rafael Marquez-Israel Vazquez and Juan Manuel Marquez-Marco Antonio Barrera?.There's also a potential scrap - or a potential bore - with Brian Viloria going after his old Clown 108-pound title against Edgar Sosa in another bout which has Filipino (Viloria) and Mexican connotations. Sosa's last loss was by majority decision to Ulises Solis, who also had to struggle to an early split decision over the Mexican?.Andd there is the perfunctory appearance, as on all Arum pay-per-view cards, of Julio Cesar Chavez?.Hell, the off-TV schedule, which includes the darling of us purists, Ivan Calderon, is better than the crap Golden Boy is offering for its greatest show of all time.

De la Hoya apparently offered Kassim Ouma only $50,000 to appear on the May 5 undercard. Sugar Shane Mosley, his business and sparring partner, could have spiced up the show - and remember, the main event has the potential of being another Mayweather-Carlos Baldomir snooze - but as Pretty Boy said to Mosley, "If you're thinking you're getting one penny of Oscar's money, you're crazy."?  By the way, the Wladimir-Brewster II (HBO of course) is set for July 7 in Cologne, which has a beautiful cathedral which I once saw from a train, and was the boxing home of Brothers Klitschko idol Max Schmeling? Here's Brewster, coming off almost going blind, no tune-ups, in with the unquestioned No. 1 heavyweight in the world (Samuel Peter is the only one with a legitimate chance to question that, I believe, and he has less important business to take care of first in Oleg Maskaev) and the fact that he came back to knock out Wlad once doesn't mean he can do it again. Wlad has improved immensely since Emanuel Steward took over?.Nevada did well in picking Kenny Bayless to referee and Jerry Roth, Chuck Giampa and New Jersey's Tom Kaczmarek as the judges May 5.

Governor, Elliott Spitzer has named Melvina Lathan to the New York State Athletic Commission, a good move because it removes a nice lady and poor judge from deciding fights?.Why doesn't Nevada do the same with Dalby Shirley??The late Carol Castellano, who died in Vegas recently, was certainly one of the best judges - man or woman - in not only her immediate household, but in the entire world. She was a wonderful lady and the game will miss her. Hopefully, her doting husband Tony will be able to cope without her.

My new favorite referee is Terry O'Connor, and not because he is from Birmingham, an English town where I was the first kid on my Brooklyn block to get married. O'Connor has been taking heat for stopping the Joe Calzaghe-Peter Manfredo travesty before the overmatched Manfredo could really get injured. He was too late. The fight should never have started and it is just another example of why the game reeks?.Heads should roll at HBO for buying that crap from Phrank Warren, who gives promoters a bad name. Well, not all heads. Larry Merchant once again distinguished himself by making the?.

PENTHOUSE: It pays to have someone around who remembers back past last week. In a terrible fight that was shamelessly huckstered on this side of the ocean by claiming Manfredo was a "star" because he came from that unreality made-for-television show, "The Contenders," and where the hype was given some zest by Sugar Ray Leonard's siding with the unworthy challenger (Leonard, of course, is partly responsible for "The Contenders," which almost makes him a candidate to lose his hall of fame credentials), it took someone like Merchant to recall the late Chuck Davey. Here was another example of a made-for-television fighter - blond (yes, that means white), southpaw, personable, and who couldn't fight a lick. He was given patsy after patsy; some were paid not to try too hard. I remember one night at the bar at the Ponchetrain in Detroit where Davey, then a Michigan commissioner, was talking about the night he beat Rocky Graziano and no one of course had the heart to suggest the fight might not have gotten the Rock's best efforts. Davey got all the way to a title fight, where Kid Gavilan embarrassed him - even turning southpaw at one stage to slap him around. "It's nothing new," said Merchant, after recalling Gavilan-Davey following Calzaghe-Manfredo, "but sometimes it feels like it's getting a little old."

OUTHOUSE: While we're here, we might as well put Phony Phrank into the mix. After Calzaghe schooled Jeff Lacy, who at least had more innate talent than Davey did, Warren has returned his Welsh meal-ticket, to the safety net matches the promoter(?) likes. It's what he did with Ricky Hatton, who had to force his coming-out party against Kostya Tszyu, and it's what he's doing with his new Khan job, taking a talented kid like Amir Khan and wrapping him up with stiffs like a mummy. Now Warren makes an offer Mikkel Kessler can refuse and then sounds like $4 million is a lot of money for Jermain Taylor to go over to Wales. Hell, Taylor can make that much fighting smaller guys in his back yard. Calzaghe is a wonderful talent, but he ain't what he couldabeen. I think boxing should appoint a Warren commission, maybe a Warren out-of-commission, to investigate.

DIS AND THAT: Speaking of Wales, that book, "Occupation: Prizefighter," the story of Freddie Welsh that I praised in my previous column, will have an American printing (for $24.95 a copy, the prize of a poor pay-per-view show) with distribution through IPG in Chicago?.Diego Corrales should not have been allowed to go out for the tenth round by his corner in his exciting slaughter by Joshua Clottey. Chico, who still insists he can't make 140 pounds, is not as shot as you might think. Let's not overlook the fact that Clottey is one of the best welterweights in the world. Al Bernstein on Showtime made the salient point that outside of the WBO, which gave him a shot at Antonio Margarito last year, the other three alphas (maybe we should call them "omegas") didn't have Clottey in their top 15's. "That's just stupid," said Bernstein?.With Margarito, whose poor performance against Clottey - had the African not injured his left hand, he seemed on his way to the upset and that was before the Tijuana Zephyr hurt his paw - looks a bit stronger in the light of Clottey's most recent performance. If Kassim Ouma can make 147, they could meet for the African welterweight title in some neutral place like Las Vegas. What a fight that would be?.Are we all getting old or is Oscar's hairline receding??.Mike Tyson, whose lawyer says he has been coke-free for 72 days, still faces trial Aug. 20 in Arizona for possession and, for the sake of some publicity hound assistant D.A., could get up to seven and a half years. Leave the poor sap alone - just take away his driving license. Years before he discovered cocaine, Tyson could not drive?..Zab Judah returns tonight in an ESPN2 warmup for his meeting in June with Miguel Cotto. I might watch with the sound muted. Wish he and his father would keep their mouths shut; they have nothing to brag about unless you want to rank Zab high on your list of wasted talents?.Good to see the Antonio Tarver-Elvir Muriqi fight, scheduled to bring ABC back into boxing, has been called off. Speculation was that Tarver was not in shape; I was hoping the network woke up to the fact that the proposed bout had the faint aroma of performing seals.

SPECIAL PENTHOUSE ANNEX: Kevin Iole is one of the hardest working guys in my profession, hell, in any profession, and the Las Vegas Review-Journal's boxing writer, like his predecessor, Royce Feour, has garnered the most prestigious award any of the Boss Scribes can win - the Fleisher, for "excellence in boxing journalism." The lifetime award is voted upon by the previous winners. Welcome to the club, Kevin. I hope your bosses start to appreciate you.

M

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